What's Up? Dear Life - Arpit Chaudhary PrO_RaZe
What's Up? Dear Life
It's pretty sad that I think that I will give alot of time to this blog but I just don't. No specific topic to talk about today, I will just share some life moments with anyone who is reading this right now. I've said this many times and again saying, 2019 has been a tough year for me and it is still going strong. I just don't find any legit long lasting happiness this year and well I still have some hope. I mean there are still almost 3 and a half months left. But if I summarize it all, this year sucked alot. I am still in love, yeah I will call it love because I never felt like this before. I had only crushes before. God does some magical things with me, the way I see her.. ah don't wanna get lost in feelings anymore. But then there are many things which tell that she isn't the right girl for me. She is just not good for me. But I am in love, and again with the wrong person. I don't know her much. My college life aside her? It's okayish. At least I am studying again at Amity. At least I have money to travel daily by Uber, Metro and Auto. At least I can eat some delicious food, at least I have a few friends.
But then comes the expectations, I expect alot and I think alot and they don't happen and then because of those expectations I don't feel good. I can't enjoy my life to the fullest. I am alone and now I feel lonely as well. I feel like I really need someone to share almost everything, yeah I don't do that with friends. But then I feel I still am not ready for a relationship yet. I have this love I kept for a long time to give to someone but I am not sure if that time will come or not, soon. The girl I love? She makes me feel so good but also so sad, sometimes I feel like she doesn't gives a crap about me. Girls are really complicated, feels like I will never understand girls and especially her. I don't even know If I will get to forget about her because I am in this course/college for 3 years and she is too. It's not like I can change course now or she can leave. We both are stuck, thankfully not in the same section of the class. I am sorry I again am putting love crap in here. The friends I have right now in my class? They make me feel like bad too. I miss my hotel management friends, at least I was really happy and open with them but here I can't even be myself properly. I spend like 4 hours daily on travelling alone to college (both ways). I so want a PG again so that I can enjoy rest of my college life properly and have some really good friends like I had when I was living in the PG doing hotel management. I had some crazy good moments there. I miss them all, but it's memory now.
My father is still unemployed, the unemployment problem currently in India is at its peak. Seriously money is the solution to most of my problems. I want to enjoy my life to the fullest but I don't know when I will get to do that. I am not happy... I am sad. Really sad inside... I don't know what the rest of 2019 will be like. Again I hope, it gets good :)
It's pretty sad that I think that I will give alot of time to this blog but I just don't. No specific topic to talk about today, I will just share some life moments with anyone who is reading this right now. I've said this many times and again saying, 2019 has been a tough year for me and it is still going strong. I just don't find any legit long lasting happiness this year and well I still have some hope. I mean there are still almost 3 and a half months left. But if I summarize it all, this year sucked alot. I am still in love, yeah I will call it love because I never felt like this before. I had only crushes before. God does some magical things with me, the way I see her.. ah don't wanna get lost in feelings anymore. But then there are many things which tell that she isn't the right girl for me. She is just not good for me. But I am in love, and again with the wrong person. I don't know her much. My college life aside her? It's okayish. At least I am studying again at Amity. At least I have money to travel daily by Uber, Metro and Auto. At least I can eat some delicious food, at least I have a few friends.
But then comes the expectations, I expect alot and I think alot and they don't happen and then because of those expectations I don't feel good. I can't enjoy my life to the fullest. I am alone and now I feel lonely as well. I feel like I really need someone to share almost everything, yeah I don't do that with friends. But then I feel I still am not ready for a relationship yet. I have this love I kept for a long time to give to someone but I am not sure if that time will come or not, soon. The girl I love? She makes me feel so good but also so sad, sometimes I feel like she doesn't gives a crap about me. Girls are really complicated, feels like I will never understand girls and especially her. I don't even know If I will get to forget about her because I am in this course/college for 3 years and she is too. It's not like I can change course now or she can leave. We both are stuck, thankfully not in the same section of the class. I am sorry I again am putting love crap in here. The friends I have right now in my class? They make me feel like bad too. I miss my hotel management friends, at least I was really happy and open with them but here I can't even be myself properly. I spend like 4 hours daily on travelling alone to college (both ways). I so want a PG again so that I can enjoy rest of my college life properly and have some really good friends like I had when I was living in the PG doing hotel management. I had some crazy good moments there. I miss them all, but it's memory now.
My father is still unemployed, the unemployment problem currently in India is at its peak. Seriously money is the solution to most of my problems. I want to enjoy my life to the fullest but I don't know when I will get to do that. I am not happy... I am sad. Really sad inside... I don't know what the rest of 2019 will be like. Again I hope, it gets good :)
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